Attack of the Mary Sues
by cricket0206
Summary: Just a bunch of parodies about Mary Sues. Not to be taken seriously, just wrote for fun. Rated T cause I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Percy Jackson characters.**

**Here is a the first in a series of oneshots I'm making about Mary Sues. Please don't take this seriously. I just hate Mary Sues. **

My name is Giselle Moonlight Luna Eclipse Solar Lavender Glow. I'm Artemis's only daughter, and I am also the leader of Camp Half Blood. It used to be some weird kid named Percy Jackson, but he disappeared and the only one upset about him is his annoying and ugly girlfriend Annabelle or something like that. I came shortly after he vanished and I was such a great swordfighter and archer, Chiron forgot all about Percy. Then we found out he's at some Roman camp, but everyone agreed they like my better so no one went looking for him. Well, except for that Anna girl, but no one cares about her.

Anyway, back to me. I have shimmering auburn hair and yellow eyes, just like my mother. I also have great aim with a bow, even better than Artemis, Apollo, and all his children COMBINED. We had a contest last week and I won. Everyone also says that I'm even prettier than Aphrodite and smarter than Athena. I have special powers. I can control lightning, water, and the dead. I was blessed with every gods' powers.

One day I was making out with Nico di Angelo, when Kronos appeared right in front of us. I stopped kissing Nico, which took a lot of willpower, but that happens to be one of my special powers.

"Do you mind?" I shrieked, and threw him one of my signature glares that can make people sob. "We are trying to make out here!"

Kronos laughed evilly. "I have returned, and I will destroy Olympus!"

"In your dreams!" I yelled bravely. (Bravery is also one of my special powers) I pulled out my sword that Ares gave me for Christmas stabbed Kronos right through the chest.

"NOOOOO!" he yelled and turned into dust. I jumped in the pile of dust and started kicking it around squealing "Yay!"

Nico came up and kissed me. "You defeated the Titan Lord!" Then we made out again.

Later on after everyone found out what I did, they threw a celebration just for me. It was a huge party in the pavilion, complete with a disco ball and karaoke contest (which I beat Apollo in).

Dionysus, who I call D-man, came up to me during the party and said "Giselle! Can I have a picture taken with you?"

This was like the third time this happened, but I said "Sure thing, D- man, and posed for a picture."

D-man squealed. "Look!" He showed me the picture and I looked stunning, but that's no surprise because I look hot in every picture I take.

I already told you my name, but you're not nearly as smart as me so you probably forgot. My name is Giselle Moonlight Luna Eclipse Solar Lavender Glow, only daughter of Artemis, and that is how I single handily defeated the Titan Lord, Kronos. Peace out!

**Haha this was so much fun writing. Flames are welcome. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Percy Jackson characters.**

**Here is a the second in a series of oneshots I'm making about Mary Sues. Please don't take this seriously. I just hate Mary Sues. **

What up? My name is Celeste Angel Cloud Rosette Chocolate Mellow Yellow Sky Rainbow Marshmallow Sparkles Midnight Black Cat Flutter Nutter Peanut Butter McAwesomeness. I have shiny blonde hair that cascades down my back in ringlets, and limpid blue eyes with a silver circle surrounding the pupil. I'm tan, athletic, and have a sexy bod. You could say I'm the girl of every guy's dreams.

I was walking down the street one day in my pink Gucci shoes and pink skirt and pink eyeliner when suddenly this chic appeared out of thin air. She had brown hair woven into braids and a white dress. She was really pretty, but not nearly as much as me.

"Greetings, Celeste. I am Hera, queen of the gods," she said. "Your mother and father are only foster parents. You're my daughter."

I squealed excitedly. I always knew I was special. "So if you're my mother, who is my father?"

"Dionysus, god of wine."

"That means I'm a goddess! Awesome!" I clapped excitedly, and I'm sure Mommy was wondering why I was taking the news so calmly. It's because I'm perfect, of course! Duh.

"Now," my mommy announced. "We shall go to Mount Olympus where you will meet the rest of the Olympians."

"Yay!"

Mommy took me to Olympus and into this big room with a lot of big chairs. The Olympians were sitting around, staring at me enviably, with the exception of Artemis. She wasn't even glancing in my direction. She'll pay for that. I looked around and, you'll never believe this, there wasn't a chair for ME! How could they forget me?

"Where's my chair?" I asked sweetly.

"There are only twelve Olympians," said Artemis. "You are only a minor goddess."

The time for being nice was over. "Minor goddess? _Minor goddess_? How dare you call me that! I am perfect in every way! I will be an Olympian!" I gave a defiant battle cry, which was incredibly sexy.

Then I did what anyone would have done: I ran up to Artemis, pushed her off the throne. She fell through a hole in the ground I conjured because I have every gods' abilities for some reason. She screamed on the way down and all the Olympians cheered, "Huzzah!" And then they started to sing Greensleeves.

"Thank goodness you got rid of _her_," said Aphrodite while examining herself in a mirror.

Zeus nodded in agreement. "She was so uptight. I like you better, Celeste."

"Me too!" Everyone else said.

And that is how I, Celeste Angel Cloud Rosette Elizabeth Chocolate Mellow Yellow Sky Rainbow Marshmallow Sparkles Midnight Black Cat Flutter Nutter Peanut Butter McAwesomeness, became an Olympian. Oh yeah!


End file.
